Principle 3: The Real Problem
Principle 3: Every barrier you experience in life is not caused by the experience you desire, but by the decisions, actions, and non-actions you take in pursuit of the desired experience
If you completed the exercises in principle 2, you might have noticed a trend in your answers.
For most people, the core motivations behind their desires and the decisions, actions, and non-actions in their life is usually only one or two core experiences.
Which raises a very interesting question: If so much of your life is devoted to having this experience, then how come you haven’t got it yet?
The answer is simple: because the way you’ve been trying to have that experience is ineffective. Not wrong or stupid, but simply not as effective as you need it to be.
You’ve been trying to fulfil this desire in a way that relies too heavily on the actions and decisions of elements outside your control and not enough on elements that are inside your control.
- This is why you’re frustrated
- This is why your days feel empty and pointless
- This is why you feel a lack of fulfilment when you go to bed at night
- This is why you can stand in a room of people and still feel alone
- This is why you can have all the freedoms that money can buy and still feel trapped by your life
It’s got nothing to do with what you want, you’ve just been looking in the wrong place.
If you wait till other people open up to you before you share the deep and intimate parts of your life with them, and they’re doing the same thing, how deeply connected are you going to feel to the people around you?
If you try to get permission from everyone around you to be free and open but at the same time, won’t give yourself the permission, how much freedom are you going to experience in your life?
If you only feel powerful when you get other people to do what you want, how reliable and consistent is that feeling of power going to be?
If you only do the actions that other people find fulfilling without knowing what’s really important to you, how fulfilled will you feel at the end of the day?
But what if you changed the pathway you were using to experience what you desire?
What if, instead of waiting for other people to open up to you so you can feel connected, you opened up to them and shared yourself and just keep sharing with those who want to share back?
Would that put the ability to finding deep connections with other people more in your control or less in your control?
And how much more connected would you feel to people around you?
What if, instead of trying to control people so you can feel powerful and in control of your life, you challenged and pushed through your personal limitations and proved to yourself you can do whatever you want?
Would that put the ability to feel powerful and in control of your life more in your control or less in your control?
And how much more powerful and in control would you feel?
This is the third principle of Vedanism – the frustration, anxiety, or emptiness in your life has nothing to do with what you’re trying to experience. All your challenges, frustrations, and problems come from the way you’re trying to get the experience you want.
This mechanism – your current experience, your desired experience, and how you’re trying to bridge the gap between those two – is referred to as your Script.
It’s the basis of all problems, challenges, pains, and frustrations you experience.
If you’re not experiencing what you want, then finding everything you’ve ever wanted has nothing to do with repressing, ignoring, or changing your desires, all you need to do is change your Script.
EXERCISE: Instead of giving you a quick exercise to see how this applies to your life, how about I give you the 5 steps you need to follow to use this information to transform your life? Sound Good? Good.